10 Things you are not aware you are destroying your husband

Marriage is like managing a business.  Everything you will make or break our marriage.  My wife and I have discussed the following sets of expectations which helped us progress in our relationship.

1. Materialistic Wife

Materialistic Wife Img

Materialism is a huge attitude that if you are not careful can harm your relationship.  Today, more than ever, this could be the reason of quarrel in marriage.

The Bible clearly states that the love of money is the root cause of all evil. (Heb 13:5)


2.  Losing your trust

Trust is big values that build a relationship. Trust is strong element that it could build a relationship.  I work to maintain a good relationship with clients. Across my journey, I keep an undeniable relationship to keep them active and enforce to continue with the service. Same with my wife, I give her what she needs and she kept love. I want her to keep her trust in me wherever I go.

Newly Wed Picture

3. Fastidious Wife

Being choosy or demanding will withdraw your husband from making a trusted leader in a family.  Here is Dr. Val Farmer, a clinical psychologist who answers why women tend to be super demanding. This link will help you see the difference.

4. Negative response from the wife

A negative wife will affect a husband. Then it(wife) will affect the children in everyday living. Next the whole family will suffer.

Negativity can come in the form of cynicism, criticism, whining, attacking, pessimismdiscontent, perfectionism, and hyperintensity. All of these behaviors can push people away, including your spouse.

5. Bilmoko(Buy me this) Wife

I work as a financial advisor, I want to create a sensible financial stability in our family so I need (my wife) her to be aware of our daily expenses.  I don’t want my wife to be like a child picking anything she sees in the mall realizing she won’t need it when we get home.  That’s a bad financial leadership.

6. Losing Physical affection

By experience, I tend to be more physically demanding than my wife.  I think this is true to every husband I knew.  I wanted to be hugged and kissed every day.   I have a friend who is a Chinese married to a Pinoy and she rarely kiss and hug her husband in the public because of their culture.  When I chatted with her she realized that she would need to change her mindset on how she shows her affection to her husband.  When my wife does not show affection to me I would ask her to kiss me and hug when she forgets.

7. Misunderstanding

Men are generally more independent, the fear of being misunderstood will spell a great definition on their leadership.

8. Nagging your husband

My fathers stayed at home when he became ill, my mother worked instead and makes the money in the family.  I remember her shouting at my father encouraging him to move and be strong.  But that does not create a good response to my father.  When I talked to my father when he was still alive, he said that he was hurt even if my mom does not mean to hurt him.  He said that it affected his condition and made it worst.  Nagging your husband either creates domination in the family or creating even more reactive conflict in the family.

9. Losing Communication

Communication is the best tool to enhance your relationship in the family.  Constant discussion of anything under the sun will shed some light to some unresolved issues.  As for my wife and I, we always use all the tools available to communicate every day.

10. Unappreciative Wife

We express by what love language we convey daily.  It is very important that we communicate our love language.  Your love language could change over time,  recently I got more encouraged when my wife appreciates what I do.  She appreciates when I cook food when massaging her back when changed baby’s diaper when I buy something for her.  Because of this, my role as a husband gets boosted and my sense of being a husband gets well taken cared.

Wives, being unaware of these 10 things would affect your relationship with your husband.  The best thing to do is to discuss this with your husband.  Always have caution when talking this straight together.  You always have to consider how your marriage foundation was established so to strengthen and foster your lives together.   I highly suggest that you put on your family values.  Through this, your marriage would have a deeper foundation that is grounded in what you believe in.

When I wrote this article, my goal was to enlighten my wife on what I need.  But the more I dig deeper into my role as a husband, I realized that my role is to guide my wife daily so that she could respond appropriately based on what I need.   Ultimately, the mission that we husbands bring inside the home will define the true essence of our leadership.  No matter what we demand from our wife, the answer will always come from our response.

Yes, its right that you both understand this need from our side, but how we deliver will enable the wives to internalize the whole meaning of this demand.  At the end of the day,  what comes out of our way is to create a harmonious relationship of our family.

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18 thoughts on “10 Things you are not aware you are destroying your husband

    1. Yes, Husbands do not like a nagging wife. The bible says about nagging wives:
      Proverbs 21:9 ESV
      It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

  1. These are some super important points. I think keeping the trust and avoiding nagging each other is so important to maintaining happiness in the marriage – I also think open communication and honest communication is a key slice of the pie!

  2. I think there are a lot of points in this post that would apply to both husband and wife. I would love to see the other side of the coin – what are the ten things that husbands should do. Or…ten things that couples need to work on together.

  3. These are definitely good points and can and should be flipped in the opposite direction as well. Happy marriages are those built on mutual respect and consideration.

  4. There are always going to be disagreements in a marriage, the most important thing is to talk it out as soon as you see problems. Not worth ignoring them for any potential future explosions.

  5. Very good reminders for a healthy marriage! I think trust, communication, and NO negativity are among the most important And really, this list applies to husbands as well as wives, since mutual love and respect is essential.

  6. I agree with all your points Papa Jack. I also had my share of wrongs that I continue to correct. I want to build up my husband because I am his partner. So we work together to build our marriage.

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