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Don’t Call your Kid Smart

Parenting has been really difficult in this fast pace environment. In the world where bad parenting arises. Where parents live to work outside the home and kids are left to learn at school.  Children are taking the risk. Last Friday while I was waiting at the lobby for my wife to be done from her dentist appointment I read this very interesting topic about how should we treat our kids and I found it encouraging to share it with you.

*A lot of parents always reward this child with praises like, “You’re so smart!”, especially after the kids aced a killer test.  But new research says this well-meaning practice can backfire.

In a 2017 study, published in a journal “Development Cognitive Neuroscience“, researchers used a fast-paced computer accuracy test to assess whether a child a “growth mindset” (or believed she can get smarter by working harder) or a fixed-mindset”(or believed her intelligence is fixed).   Those with a growth mindset had a larger brain response – evidence by a spike in brain activity – after making a mistake, as they paid close attention to what went wrong.

These children, the researchers concluded were more likely to improve their performance versus those who tended to ignore their errors.

The conclusion, when you commend your kids say it like, “Wow! Your hard work paid off! “, On the other hand, if they do poorly on any endeavor, guide them to see her mistake and help her figure out how she can learn from them.

Parent helping a child to learn biking

We are not Smart, we are Product of Training.

In our case, we have a different parenting style.  Our little one is only 1 year old but I can see a great progress on how my wife homeschooled him.  We have learned and created a culture in the house to make sure that we impact his way of learning.  So many of our friends have commended his responses every time they ask him questions.   That’s because of the training we have intentionally create every day. 

 We have only started using flashcards, using training videos, identifying an object,  things and people.  We transitioned from numbers to shapes, to colours and helping him recognize the words both for English and local language.  His fast grasping memory has been greatly involved by his training daily.   I believe the idea of 10x rule has been paying off. 

I know sometime people may have a negative connotation about early training for toddlers at his age.  But I believe we have to be intentional in creating this culture in our own family.  

Home Schooling our Little One

We have learned that calling kid Smart has been making both negative and positive impact on us.  So we inform the people that this was because of progress that my wife and I have been practising.  Because of these, many people have been seeing the natural impact of this idea. 

We are greatly affected by the idea of homeschooling our little one.  We have seen the tremendous impact of parents teaching their kids about characters and good values.  

So my last conclusion on how you call your kids when they have done something good is to appreciate them.  Remember its absolutely ok to give them praises but lets limit them at a certain extent.   At the end of the day, we are going to benefit on the better impact on our own parenting style. 

3 Ways to create healthy Family Lifestyle

Family ValuesWith the rise of the 20th century, Christian believers and evangelical leaders and conservative politicians have derived the agenda to transform the standards of the community by focusing on “family values”.  In the Philippines, given that we are a Christian nation has typically considered embracing the culture of keeping the objective subtle through considering the agenda to support homeschooling and using a strong military punishment amongst others.

Today, we live by the norms of society where we accept the morals depending on what is trending and famous among the modern approach of social media.  Facebook, for example, have molested the morals of society, specially the youth because of easy access to the internet.  They can easily watch sensual types of videos and pictures.  It is painful for parents to see their children controlling them because on what is seen and heard over viral videos and rants.  Day by day the number of teenage pregnancy has increased dramatically according to the Department of Health and World Health Organization.  read more.

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Don’t Call your Kid Smart

  1. This is quite interesting especially teachers in the Philippines are always encouraged to give positive motivation. Here, they don’t encourage telling kids ‘good job’ and giving stickers.

  2. Wow I never thought of it like that before. I have a two year old son and a daughter on the way and I’m always trying to be more mindful of things that I say since hes developing language skills now. Thank you for the post

  3. It’s a great insight and a lesson for every parent I think. We all do this without thinking of the consequences. Of course, we need to appreciate them for their efforts but at the same time help them having that growth mindset.

  4. I never really thought about this before, but you are right! There are so many other positive and encouraging ways to say things. Food for thought!

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